Recall conversations you’ve had with your parents or maybe your grandparents about the wondrous world in which children, and even adolescents, were always seen but never heard. They believed this to be a fine world and even a just world. During these times in which people can be seen but not heard, we are supposed to think those quiet ones are giving other people, namely their superiors, the proper respect they deserve.
Well, I’m here to counter that argument. Based on my solid two years as a student at the collegiate level, and even based on my time spent in high school, it was up to me to find my voice, practice using it, and then enhance it in ways to show people what I want and what I deserve. In high school, I was quiet. I probably even fell under the “seen but not heard” name plate; however, I’ve grown away from this demeanor. I’m still relatively shy, but I’ve learned to say what I’m thinking in any given appropriate setting. We are told in our classes to stand up for ourselves, develop backbones, and be vocal in the workplace. Arrogance isn’t welcome and neither is cockiness, but those who vocalize their well-developed opinions will flourish. Those are the graduates who will speak out against the repressed and the silent in order to grant others their basic human rights. Those are the graduates who will stand out and make a difference. Moving on from the ultimate goal we all have of making a difference, let’s move on to what our generation is commonly known for: our selfishness. We are thought to be the generation who only seeks our individual happiness and nobody else’s. We are thought to be arrogant, good for nothing, and sometimes a little shallow. By chasing our own happiness, we’ve been deemed the shallow generation with its inhabitants only caring about their own selfish desires. Because we choose to ignore the disagreeing thoughts, we choose to push the barriers, we choose to go after nontraditional lifestyles, and we choose see the world in new lights, we are supposed to simply take these harsh statements about not being realistic when we discuss what we want out of life. Today’s generation scares its forefathers. We don’t cower when someone tells us, “No.” Instead, we do it anyway, and we try to do it better than anyone else around us or before us. We embrace challenges, and we even crave them. We believe life should be centered on happiness, and nothing less. We should enjoy our social lives, but we should also enjoy our work lives. By enjoying our work, what we do, and who surrounds us, we become happier, more productive individuals, and isn’t this what companies strive for anyway? We always put our best feet forward, keep enthusiastic mindsets, and are constantly striving for greatness. In enthusiasm and goal-setting, we find solace in knowing we are contributing members of society. The actuality of our generation is simple. We have become the generation who believes in always being seen and always being heard.
0 Comments
Becoming clean can represent a multitude of new beginnings in life, but there is one life experience with which most of us can relate: cleansing ourselves of toxic people in our lives. Some of these are past friendships, but most of them deal with overcoming a breakup with someone who we once relied on and trusted. Some of us most likely even believed these people would never leave us, but then, one day, they did.
Out of nowhere, this person slid out of your life either quietly or with a rough goodbye. Maybe you got something as small as a text message or a phone call, or maybe you were lucky enough to have your finale completed in person, but is the latter really even considered lucky? Isn’t it all just one big sucky situation? There is no easy way to say goodbye to someone who you once loved. Eventually, you stop looking at past pictures. You stop rereading past text messages and listening to past voicemails. You stop thinking about past conversations. Altogether, you stop revisiting the past. Perhaps, it all seems as though it was a distant dream. Then, one day, you remember more good memories than bad, and you realize the bitter feelings you once dealt with everyday are no longer present. Eventually, you realize you haven’t thought about this person in days, weeks, or maybe even months. It might hit you as you’re listening to a certain song in the car or you pass him/her as you’re driving down the road. Either way, you realize how you did in fact endure an emotional cleanse. All you have now are distant memories, and you choose to leave them in the past where they belong. Eventually, you’ll start dating someone new. You’ll realize how welcoming it is to find someone who treats you like never before. Now, you realize why it didn’t work with others in the past. You tried so desperately to cling on to someone who couldn’t give you what you deserved because you were clinging on to the wrong someone. Instead, you should have spent your time enjoying yourself because then you would realize the right person would come along when you weren’t even looking. He found you with open arms because he knows how beautiful you are when you’re lost in a daze or you’re trying to quote your favorite movie. He knows how beautiful you are when you aren’t wearing any makeup or when he sees you experience your most embarrassing moment right in front of him. He probably makes you laugh more than anyone in the past ever had because you now know your worth, and you aren’t afraid to show him your most raw forms. Eventually, you realize you can be yourself. When you’re being yourself, you find someone who unknowingly makes you want to be a better person. You find yourself laughing more, breathing deeper, making bigger bucket lists, and eating more ice cream. Eventually, you realize you had to endure your cleanse in order to be stripped of the toxins overflowing your mind and body. Without the toxins, you can now live your life purely and freely. Recount conversations you’ve had with your parents or maybe your grandparents about the wondrous world in which children, and even adolescents, were always seen but never heard. They believed this to be a fine world and even a just world. During these times in which people can be seen but not heard, we are supposed to think those quiet ones are giving other people, namely their superiors, the proper respect they deserve.
Well, I’m here to counter that argument. Based on my solid two years as a student at the collegiate level, and even based on my time spent in high school, it was up to me to find my voice, practice using it, and then enhance it in ways to show people what I want and what I deserve. In high school, I was quiet. I probably even fell under the “seen but not heard” name plate; however, I’ve grown away from this demeanor. I’m still relatively shy, but I’ve learned to say what I’m thinking in any given appropriate setting. We are told in our classes to stand up for ourselves, develop backbones, and be vocal in the workplace. Arrogance isn’t welcome and neither is cockiness, but those who vocalize their well-developed opinions will flourish. Those are the graduates who will speak out against the repressed and the silent in order to grant others their basic human rights. Those are the graduates who will stand out and make a difference. Moving on from the ultimate goal we all have of making a difference, let’s move on to what our generation is commonly known for: our selfishness. We are thought to be the generation who only seeks our individual happiness and nobody else’s. We are thought to be arrogant, good for nothing, and sometimes a little shallow. By chasing our own happiness, we’ve been deemed the shallow generation with its inhabitants only caring about their own selfish desires. Because we choose to ignore the disagreeing thoughts, push the barriers, go after nontraditional lifestyles, and see the world in new lights, we are supposed to simply take these harsh statements of not growing up and getting real jobs or starting families right after graduation. Today’s generation scares its forefathers. We don’t cower when someone tells us, “No.” Instead, we do it anyway, and we try to do it better than anyone else around us or before us. We embrace challenges, and we even crave them. We believe life should be centered on happiness, and nothing less. We should enjoy our social lives, but we should also enjoy our work lives. By enjoying our work, what we do, and who surrounds us, we become happier, more productive individuals, and isn’t this what companies strive for anyway? We always put our best feet forward, keep enthusiastic mindsets, and are constantly striving for greatness. In enthusiasm and goal-setting, we find solace in knowing we are contributing members of society. The actuality of our generation is simple. We have become the generation who believes in always being seen and always being heard. When we go to college, there’s an understood and unspoken agreement that many of us drift apart from our best friends. However, for those of us who continually keep tabs on each other, something as little as a summer apart can seem as though it’s a life-altering change. No longer are you planning get-togethers throughout the week and spending days lying out in your backyards. Instead, you have to find ways to keep up with each other.
Here’s what it’s like to spend the summer apart from your best friends. Group messages become your lifelines. We all hate them. Most of us even despise group messages. When it comes to keeping up with your friends, however, you depend on them. When one of you meets a new beau, you can count on it to be included in the next intense conversation you have with your teammates. Messages filled with “I miss you,” “Please come home xoxo” and “I need to get my life together” flood your inbox throughout your week and you can’t wait to reunite so these details can be shared in person rather through the technical atmosphere. Having parties without your best friends is almost pointless. “Hey guys! I’m having a party next week. Please come.” Sound familiar? When your friends are out of town and can’t come to your shindigs, you want to completely cancel having your get-together because who else do you want to dance the night away with when your girls are M.I.A.? You live vicariously through each other’s Snapchats, Instagrams, and all other forms of social media. It’s Friday morning and you can tell your best friend got a little too crazy on Thirsty Thursday, but it’s okay because you can count on her to fill your morning/afternoon with hilarious drunken and hung-over videos. Then you know it’s time to counsel her and tell her to be safe, don’t talk to strangers, and to take care of herself so she can own her workplace the next day. You begin to plan every waking moment you all will spend together. “Okay so you get back on the 10th at 6:30 p.m. That means you can catch up with your ‘rents, then by 9:30 p.m. we can all eat pizza like savages and retell all of the stories we’ve already told each other, but this time we’ll have facial expressions and gestures.” Don’t lie to yourself. You know it’s true. You start to tell all of your other friends about your best friends, but they don’t understand your bond. They just don’t understand why it’s so funny that your best friend actually likes this guy because they don’t understand her avid “no boys allowed” mentality. And, because they don’t understand this, they don’t understand why it’s so funny that your other best friend has bruises from a night out. “How does she not know how she got them?” They don’t understand. You consider yourselves the modern day Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Even though you don’t have a magical pair of pants in which you all feel as though you’re on top of the world, you have the magical world of the group message in which you can all share your summer stories. This way, you can run to the bathroom while you’re at someone’s house and type “WHAT DO I DO?!” while your best friends either give detailed responses about how to handle your situation or they tell you to run, leave, and never look back. This way is much better because you’re all too impatient to write a letter filled with calligraphy and doodles and then wait for FedEx to deliver your magical pants. You cannot wait until you’re all reunited once again. A summer apart from your best friends is too long. You can’t wait to hear about your best friends’ internships, boys, crazy nights out, and everything they checked off their summer bucket lists. We all like to think we’re independent women who don’t need anyone else, but we really do like it when we have our best friends by our sides no matter what we’re doing. Whether you’re having a sleepover in a tent or enjoying your first night out together when you’re all 21, you know they bring out the best in you, and you wouldn’t want to spend another three months without them. While many college students feel the need to accompany others for every event–social or academic–and they can hardly understand someone’s ability to enjoy a night away from hoards of people, there are many college students who find it empowering to enjoy blissful nights away from the masses of students who seem to be attached by chain linked arms. These are also the students who find exhilaration in focusing on the future because they do not have to worry about when they will leave their friends. They’ve already accepted the fact that everyone goes his or her own way after graduation, and those who wish to stay in touch will put forth the necessary effort.
You know these following situations all too well if you define yourself as the independent college student. Eating lunch by yourself doesn’t stress you out. In fact, you enjoy a little alone time. Your previous class completely screwed with your mind, and now you’re able to find your center and enjoy your PB&J. You don’t mind to have company, but you also don’t mind a little lunch date with yourself. When given the option, you prefer to do assignments alone. This is your opportunity to take on a challenge without worrying about compromising your own desires for your final product. Do you want color in your design? Go for it. Do you want to make this a video game for project? Create the video game. The opportunities are endless, and here is your opportunity to show your professor why you’ll shine in the workforce. You don’t worry about finding that special someone while you’re away at school. Here is the kicker. A lot of us are told that we’ll find our future wives or husbands while we’re at our respective universities, but if you’re the independent soul who doesn’t rely on anyone–except maybe your parents in dire circumstances–you view finding that soul mate as tiring and unnecessary for your future. You view it as you’re paying to go to school. You aren’t paying thousands of dollars to find your future hubby or wifey. If you find that person, then you’ll be okay with it, but it is not at the top of your priority list at the moment. Right now, you want to meet cool people, enjoy your freedom, and get a killer GPA. The thought of starting your career excites you. Sure, at the beginning of your job searching, you may feel a little down because you’ll either find menial jobs or jobs with poor pay. However, once you show those people who you are and what you can handle, you know you’ll kill it in the game. You have your eyes on your dream career, and you won’t let anyone stop you from obtaining your desires. You love the feeling of not needing to answer to anyone. When your friends feel guilty for going out during the weekends and leaving their significant others alone, you choose to dance the night away and talk to anyone and everyone because you can. You’ll never feel guilty about doing so because you are your own boss, and you make your own rules. You enjoy picking up new or strange hobbies. While other people rely on others to make plans for them, you are out and about meeting new people and learning new skills. You know one guy who plays guitar every day outside your favorite building, and you have no problem going up to him and asking him to teach you a few chords. Maybe, one night, a new chic band is playing at a local bar, and you have no problem going out to support them. Finding new hobbies without the need to search for anyone else’s approval is liberating to you, and you’ll use this newfound feeling to your utmost advantage. It’s really a feeling I can’t explain.
It’s the way I feel when I think of seeing you and knowing I’ve never before felt like this. It’s an intense feeling of excitement. I think when you know you feel as though you’re stepping toward the right direction and you know you would risk almost anything to reach this need, you’ve found passion. I think passion feels like fire. Warmth floods your body and sparks at your fingertips, which then gives you the strength you need to push forward when your mind is telling you, “No.” Even though all signs are blaring in the back of your mind emitting a hazardous red alarm, you still block out the noise and the flashing lights because you know you’re stepping toward something with which can make your life even brighter. When we’re overcome with this feeling, it’s almost more dangerous to try to eliminate the flame. When the flame is gone and the fire no longer pulsates warmth through your body, then you’re left with bitter cold. No longer are the sparks pushing you forward, but, instead, you’re left with a consistent “What if?” scenario running through your mind where the hazardous red alarms used to reside. This is why we need to chase passion. I want to chase this passion. There are qualities within you of which I’ve never before found in others. My mouth physically hurts from the excessive laughing after every conversation with you, and I find myself lying awake for hours in bed after each concluding sentiment because I cannot seem to shake this exuberant feeling you give me. Don’t ask me why any of this happens because I cannot explain it. You should mean nothing to me, yet I find myself wanting to know everything about you. The way we met is inexplicable, but I wouldn’t change a single piece of it because, without it, I wouldn’t be able to appreciate this ecstasy enlightening my fingertips. |
AuthorLauren is a Ball State University alumna with a Bachelor's degree in English and a concentration in Creative Writing. She enjoys breakfast for dinner with a side of literary enjoyment. Archives
December 2017
Categories |