Sometimes it takes losing everything you thought you wanted to realize what you actually needed.
We get lost in the moment of planning, organizing, worrying, and anticipating the future when we should be soaking in each incandescent experience. We worry about what others think about what we are doing and we try living up to their expectations so we place these photography filters on our lives in order to achieve their acceptance. It’s as though we live our life through these filters instead of taking each moment as it comes and welcoming it with opening arms.
While we try planning each moment in order to make sure we look as though we are having the time of our lives or as though we know exactly where we are going in our own personal futures, we lose sight of who we are and what we want as individuals. We worry too much about making everything seem hipster, fluorescent, or sharp instead of worrying about making our experiences and our memories seem real.
Perhaps, we want to make our lives seem better than they are or, maybe, we want to make our lives seem better than the person who stands next to us on the bus. Either way, we each have our own experiences, our own memories, our own pains, and our own truths. If you try to make you life appear better than the person’s who stands next to you on the bus, then the person you meet later at the gas station might appear to have a life better than even yours and the person’s on the bus.
Nobody truly knows how anyone is feeling because we cover up our experiences with smiles and soft filters to relax our sharp edges. We no longer taste the raw experiences. We simply experience the bitter aftertaste of a moment no longer fresh because we let our moments sit on the table for too long while we waited for everyone to give us his or her own opinion of the delicacies awaiting.
It’s almost as though you need to break into a million pieces and then glue them back together in order to know the value of happiness. When everything around you seems to consist of sparkles and minimal darkness, the value of happiness lacks the splendor of excitement when it comes. Happiness, which should consist of divine highs and wondrous moments, becomes somewhat ordinary.
Lauren is a Ball State University alumna with a Bachelor's degree in English and a concentration in Creative Writing. She enjoys breakfast for dinner with a side of literary enjoyment.