I’ve loved people, and I’m sure many of you have loved people as well. It comes and latches onto us, hangs around longer than any of us deem welcome, and then it can eventually fade away; however, everything in between those three stages are what make us crave the need to love and be loved in return.
I’m a firm believer in different loves awakening different passions inside our individual selves. For example, we have our first loves. These people make everything sweet, and we get our first tastes of car dates and romance. Then, we have the second loves. More often than not, these are the people who help us unearth different qualities of ourselves we didn’t even know we possessed–some good and some bad. These people, perhaps, are the ones we crave simply because we found some qualities about ourselves and we want to hold on to these qualities. Without these people, we’re most likely afraid of losing those qualities, which, then, is a further extension of ourselves. In our minds, if we lose these people, then we forget who we are.
This is not the case.
Even though these people helped us unearth these traits about ourselves, these traits were there the entire time. They might have even been there when we were twelve years old, but we weren’t aware of them yet because we had not yet ran through life’s course. We hadn’t yet experienced the taste of romance, or even junior high school, and through these people, our bodies helped us realize who we are. Perhaps, with these loves, we lost ourselves. In this case, it took losing ourselves to find ourselves.
Maybe these people who inadvertently helped us find ourselves weren’t only our second loves, but they were also our second, third, and even fourth loves. Perhaps, each person we date unearths certain personality traits or talents about ourselves, and it takes experiencing life with these different people to finally figure out who we are. Not only do we date other people to figure out who is most compatible with our personalities, but we also learn new lessons about ourselves: how we handle situations and how we view different outcomes in our lives.
Throughout trial and error, we eventually find those people who seem compatible with us. We enjoy who they are, what they believe in, how they laugh, and how they make us feel. Not only do we learn more about ourselves every day we spend with them, but they also enhance our lives. We no longer carry the added stress of wondering where our relationships are going or if we’ll even be together one week from now. Everything seems as though it is being attempted and conquered through a divine case of teamwork, and it almost seems too good to be true. No longer are we learning more about ourselves by how we handle loss. Instead, we learn more about how we communicate with another person and how we allow them into our lives.
We refrain from harsh words, never keep tabs on arguments, always find something to laugh about, and always remember to support each other.
Rather than thinking of our own wants and needs, we begin to think of another person as much as we do ourselves.
Lauren is a Ball State University alumna with a Bachelor's degree in English and a concentration in Creative Writing. She enjoys breakfast for dinner with a side of literary enjoyment.